Girls weekend in Blue Ridge

Ok... So I know it's been a real long time since I wrote in my blog. Well, I guess I haven't had a lot of noteworthy things that I felt the need to discuss. That did change this weekend...



My bff, Kristi, has access to an awesome cabin in Blue Ridge courtesy of her wonderful parents making such a purchase and allowing us to go up and stay when we want and other family members or friends aren't already utilizing it. A month or so back she decided we should do a girls weekend. So this past weekend her cousin Michelle and her bff Beth, Kristi, and I, and... (insert horror music here) her friend Elizabeth met up in Blue Ridge.

So in theory, we're all set for a great weekend! The times I've spent with Michelle I've always had a blast and figured I would enjoy meeting her bff (and I did!) Kristi did throw out some warnings about her friend Elizabeth. I told her I was getting the impression that I probably wouldn't enjoy her very much and then Kristi said that perhaps she was exaggerating. No, my dear. You weren't. In fact... I don't think I was properly prepared for the disaster that is Elizabeth.

The first little bit wasn't so awful. Then I noticed a trend. She likes to one up people. Then, I realize that she also likes to insert her opinion and she speaks it from a very snobby, she is better than everyone else, kind of tone. Michelle, Beth, and their 2 daughters get to the cabin and we quickly decorate for Beth's birthday while she is out of the room. We do a small little thing for her and then it's time for story telling! What's a girls weekend without girl talk?? Well, it didn't take long for Michelle and I to both be on our phones and secretly communicating with the other about this girl. For every story told, she had to interrupt and go one better. We eventually moved from the porch back inside to continue our girl talk and the next thing I know... we were having a come to Jesus meeting. This girl is the most conceited, self-absorbed person I've ever met. She informs us of her great life she once had (something about knowing property buyers that make millions in California, German something or other important job, and even a Russian prostitute...) but now she doesn't ever go anywhere because she's gained some weight and is embarassed and never goes anywhere. She used to run 5 miles a day every day... until she broke her toe. When she broke her toe something happened and she realized that she had an addictive behavior and quit drinking, quit going out with people, and yes even quit running. Who knew a broken toe could do so much for someone's life?? She's too embarassed to go anywhere and that includes going to run on a treadmill at the gym because she knew someone there and he spoke to her the one time she did that recently.

So basically, this girl is full of pity for herself and has no interest in making her life better for herself. Insert Michelle and Beth speaking out and trying to make her see reason somewhere... (please note for those that know me very well, I was biting my tongue the whole evening.) By the time I noticed it was 1am and we've been having the same pity party for little miss self absorbed for the past 3hrs, I did interject. I had enough of the "I know, but..."... I couldn't take it anymore! In a very nice manner I told her she needed to quit adding all these "buts" to her life and make a point to change everything that she has been complaining about. Because I know none of us want to hear anyone complain about the same thing over and over and make no effort to change it and instead just make up more excuses! We learned all kinds of ridiculous things about this girl... and most of them I'm pretty sure is pure crap.

On Saturday morning, Michelle, Beth, and their daughters were leaving since they had plans to go see The Sound of Music. I'm still a little hurt that they just up and left me, but they did check up on me through out the day. :) I now know that Crazy Girl has 2 cats, they are "twins", they love to cuddle and even the vet has commented on how close they are with each other, I also know their feeding routine (half a can in the morning and evening of a low fat can food) and her buildings concierge was feeding them for her while she was out of town for a couple of nights. She even showed a picture of her cats to the nail lady that didn't even do her nails! She also pitched a fit because Kristi takes an hour to get ready. She kept asking me what Kristi was doing that it takes her that long. Um... we're close and all, but I don't feel it my business to know Kristi's daily ritual of getting ready to go out into the world. But, it only takes Crazy Girl 25 minutes to get ready and she gets more compliments then anyone she knows. Ok... back up a second. You get more compliments than anyone you know, yet you've already admitted that you don't go anywhere... who compliments you? The concierge that is feeding your cats???
We go into town to grab lunch and to do some shopping in the cutesy downtown part of Blue Ridge. We seriously weren't there for long, 2 hours maximum. The first store we go into she only looks at the candle section (the night before Kristi and I were given a dissertation on her love of candles that smell like wood) and then sits down on their furniture. This is pretty much what she did for every store we went into. At a store that has a healthy supply of Vera Bradley items she speaks in that tone that is now like nails on a chalkboard to me "I have a Vera Bradley duffel bag and a Vera Bradley purse, but I really don't like Vera Bradley. My duffel bag? I used it to carry around Europe and it just hurt my shoulders the whole time. See this?" and she picks up a Vera Bradley duffel bag to show me what she's talking about... and does not put it back the way she found it which completely messed up the orderlyness of the display shelf. And yes, my OCD kicked in and as she walked away, I fixed what she obviously wasn't and put the shelf back in order. By this point I realized that I was giving her only one word answers to anything she asked me. Again, that's completely out of character as I can rarely leave anything at one word. We went into a kitchen store and as we are walking through she starts talking about sifters. She asks "Ginger, do you sift the flour you put in your icing?" I replied back with a simple "no" and didn't elaborate the fact that I don't put flour in my icing. I don't even want to know what that would taste like. In this store I did find some gingerbread people shaped pancake molds (obviously I HAD to purchase them) and that cheered me up immensely. Next we managed to get rid of her for a few minutes while she went to find something and Kristi and I went into the Christmas store. Kristi found a great ornament that she said I just had to buy for myself (it's hot pink and says SASSY in fuzzy letters) and then Elizabeth comes strolling into the store and begins to tell me that she is over Christmas after the first few days of hearing Christmas songs. I am not the girl you say such a thing to. I LIVE for Christmas. I get that not everyone does and I don't judge you for it at all... but when you've already been on my nerves for the past 24hrs and you have pretty much slammed everything I adore and believe in... I really don't care to listen to anymore and at that point I really started making it obvious that I was not a fan of hers. By this point we decide we've seen all we want to see of downtown and I'm quite curious of finding a nail place. The more this girl says she is picky about where she gets her nails done, the more I want to have mine done and a random place we find any ol where. As Kristi is driving around town and we're keeping our eyes open for a nail place (the spa was booked solid... we called that morning) she asks what we want to do next. She mentions going to the orchard and I expressed interest in going. Well, of course Elizabeth throws in that she went to the orchard the last time she was there and didn't care if she went again. A couple minutes later Kristi asks again and I said that I wanted to go, Elizabeth said she was iffy, I said I wanted a fried pie, Kristi smiles at me and says "ok! We'll go to the orchard!" HA! Take that Elizabeth! So on the way to the orchard guess what I see?? YUP! A nail place! So Kristi says we'll stop by on the way back from the orchard. Yeah... about the orchard... jokes on me (God really doesn't like ugly.) It was "u pick" day and there wasn't a parking spot to be had. Even I didn't want to be that difficult and said we could come back later. So back to the nail place where good ol Elizabeth decides she won't be having her nails done. Kristi decided against it too, and then I felt sorta bad that 2 people were waiting on me to have a clear coat put on my fingernails. Then Elizabeth decided on a pedicure anyway since she was having to wait on me afterall and Kristi decided on a mani after all as well... I get done, Kristi gets done, and after Elizabeth raised a stink with the very kind lady that worked there, she still feels the need to show the nail lady pictures of her cats. Pretty sure the lady didn't care... But maybe that's because I don't care about the cats. We go to eat dinner and it's around 5pm. Elizabeth then makes a HUGE deal out of the parking lot being empty. It's 5pm... it makes sense for it to be empty... then when we are leaving she makes a HUGE deal out of the parking lot being full. OMgosh... can we please make up our mind at which is more alarming??? We get back to the cabin and I decide it's time to go outside. And hide. I just can't handle her anymore and there's only so much I can do to keep my mouth shut around her. I walk down the steps that lead to the lower deck and sit on the retaining wall under the main level porch. This is where I stay until I hear Kristi come outside and I make my way back up to the main level and we sit out there for a while complaining and Kristi apologizing. Then, she finds us... sigh... we go back in and she continues to talk about crap I don't care about and I have to continue to hear about what a charmed life she used to lead, then Kristi puts in Designing Women. Elizabeth made it through a couple of episodes and went to bed.
Sunday morning she was still not quite getting the point that I have nothing I wish to discuss with her. Well... technically that's not true, I just didn't think Kristi would appreciate me making her friend cry. She fills me in on some more fun trivia about her life and again tries to ask me things about my life. "Ginger, do your parents have pets?" to which I answer "a dog." Kristi and I have a mini whispering meeting in the bathroom and she exclaims that she wants her to leave. So next we try to figure out how to make that happen. Kristi suggests acting like we're leaving... so we really did come up with a plan about "fake leaving" but fortunately Elizabeth said she would leave in about 30 minutes. Kristi said she was going to take a shower and I as discreetly as possible shook my head no at her... she got the point and announced that she changed her mind and would have lunch first. About an hour or so later this girl finally left. By this point I've walked back outside to get away from her. When she leaves, Kristi comes out there and sits next to me. She apologizes again and tells me thank you for exercising restraint in not going off on Elizabeth. She begins to tell me that Elizabeth told her that she tried so hard to be friends with me, but I just wouldn't ask her anything about her life (I really didn't need to since I already knew her whole life story) and I wouldn't elaborate on anything when she asked me stuff. She just didn't understand how Kristi and I could be friends or how I could have any friends. Kristi did tell her that it's not hard at all for me to make friends... and to all of you who are my friends, you know that I am actually a very talkative, very open, and very energetic person when it comes to conversations. And typically, I'm smiling and ready to tell you more than you want to know... and you also know that if you piss me off... you're gonna get a verbal beating like you've never seen. There's a reason I love Julia Sugarbaker so much...